What We Talk About When We Talk About Rape by Sohaila Abdulali

Author:Sohaila Abdulali [Sohaila Abdulali]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781912408078
Publisher: Myriad Editions
Published: 2018-05-28T16:00:00+00:00

They go on to detail the ways in which medical professionals can be helpful, ask the right questions, and make survivors more comfortable.

There’s a pattern here. Doctors come into direct contact with people’s bodies, but they are not the only ones who could support sexual violence survivors. Whether you’re a teacher, a plumber, a manicurist, a taxi driver, an accountant or a family friend, there’s huge value in remembering that everyone you meet has a story, everyone you meet has been hurt in some way. There’s huge value in finding out what might or might not aggravate the pain.

There’s value in being open to signs that someone is vulnerable, asking when we’re in doubt, and remembering that they’ve had a whole life before they met us, for better or worse. Sometimes worse—like the man with no trousers on the subway the other night who yelled, “Mmmmmotherfucker!” as soon as I got on the train. Sometimes the best way to proceed is to back right out the way you came before the door shuts behind you.

Part of providing comfort and support is recognizing the limits of what you can do. Sharonne treated many Holocaust survivors in her family practice. “They come in with a bag full of dentures, like, fifteen pairs, made by various dentists, and say, ‘I’ve been to all the dentists here and nobody is any good but I have heard that you are amazing and wonderful and you are going to solve all my problems. All of these dentures are rubbish!’ It isn’t about the dentist, it’s about a particular kind of attention. What they really want is something—love—and dentistry is just an excuse. They want to be understood.”

Don’t we all?

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